Personality

Tag, I want to write down a few of my favorite things about you.  You are only 13 months old, but your personality is starting to come through and we are having a blast watching.  It's getting to the point where you are quickly bored sitting in your chair when we go out to eat, which is challenging because your Mom and I love eating out!

Each time I put you down, you immediately turn your head and give me a smile as if to ask me if it's okay that you go explore.  I smile back and then you take off on your own with no thought of me again.  You walk up to other patrons and grab their leg to say hello.  If there's another little one near your age, you spot them quickly and walk up to them to make a friend. You don't grab them or attempt to take their food (like some kids).  Instead you smile and reach out to them as if to invite them to be your friend.  Most of them don't quite know how to take it!

Tag, approaching a new friend in a restaurant.

This boy was Tag's same age and they smiled and touched each other for a while.

Another thing you do every time you are in a restaurant is somehow find the kitchen and beeline right for it.  Maybe you smell the food, or perhaps the servers walking in and out grab your attention.  But you get mad at me when I won't let you continue your exploration into the depths of the kitchen.

The other night, Joann and I were bored so we took you to the mall on the south end of Provo (if you know me, I must be really bored to make this a better choice!) and I had one of the best times of my life following you around while your mom shopped.  You absolutely loved walking up and down the escalators (with me holding your hands) and touching the glass displays.  The funniest thing you do is whenever a good song plays you stop in your tracks and start to dance.  And I mean only on good songs.  For example, while in the mall, there was some cheesy elevator music playing and you didn't even notice it.  Then, all of a sudden a Bob Marley song started playing and you stopped in the middle of the aisle and started dancing.  About 10 people nearby stopped what they were doing and enjoyed watching you dance while I hid behind some clothes racks to watch you and their reaction.  It was so classic!

Last night we took you out to sushi with Momsie, Papaw and your great uncle Cary.  You enjoyed eating the tempura vegetables and crushed ice from my glass.  After walking straight into the kitchen again, I took you next door to a cool toy store that had thousands of toys, candy, and other magical items within your reach.  You were in hog heaven!  Here's a few photos from your adventures there, taken with my lame cell phone:

You, me, and a funny mirror.

Man, oh man did you love this rocking horse!

I love your look here as you wonder if you are actually sitting on a giraffe!

The other day at church, there was a nice old man walking with his walker.  You smiled at him and walked right up and stepped in to help him on his way.

These are some of the funny things you do and the smiles you bring to Joann and I.  Not to mention everyone who sees you walking with purpose and curiosity.  I like my life so much better with you in it.

MRI today

7:30 AM: Joann and I stayed the night in Draper with grandpa Howard last night in preparation for Tag's MRI this morning at 7:30 am.  Right now, I find myself sitting in the recovery room typing a blog post like old times.  Old, scary times.  The feelings are bit different today.  I have a sense of relief and confidence that this MRI will again be a positive ---

[10 minute pause] --- Sheez, just as I was writing this, Joann and I heard Tag's cries and we ran out of the recovery room into the MRI chamber.  Tag had awakened from the anesthesia and the capable staff were working on him to get him back to sleep!  Now, my heart is racing a bit.

Nurses work to sedate the Tagman.

Well, so much for relaxing!  Still, I mostly feel calm about Tag and his health.  The staff asked us all sorts of questions about him as we checked in, and as Joann answered I felt like cheering for him.  He has handled all of this with such amazing bravado that I just love him even more.  The main nurse on site, Dianne, was with Tag during his first visit to Riverton Hospital when he was only a month old.  She was so happy to see us and him.  She kept commenting how much she wonders about the little ones that come and go and she never gets to see their progress.  Can you imagine that?  It was fun to give her a chance to see Tagman and how much he's grown.

Seeing Tag with all the wires connected again was not fun.  He cried and looked at us as they poked him and set things up.  At one point he reached out to me with his unpoked arm as if to say, "Dad!  Rescue me!"  I about grabbed him and ran for the door, but I took a deep breath and did my best to help him smile.

Playing with a car while nurses prep for the MRI.

Diane, Tag's old friend and nurse, sets the IV.

Jo and Tag getting ready for action.

Now he's sleeping peacefully as they scan his head and neck.  Then we will have a chat with the doctor here and then we are off to Primary's for a quick meeting with the Oncology staff to review the MRI and talk about any future issues.  I keep taking deep breaths and wondering how I am so lucky to have such a happy, handsome, and amazing little boy.

10 AM:  Tag is out of the MRI and is sleeping. The radiologist came in and said everything looks normal so Tag has passed another test.  Now we're off to Primary Children's to meet with Oncology.

1 PM:  We just met with Oncology after waiting for over an hour.  While waiting we saw many little ones with bald heads awaiting their chemo treatments.  We felt lucky Tag has not had to endure that ordeal (and us too!).  Dr Bruggers checked Tag out and said he looks awesome and shows no signs of danger.  We are supposed to do this same drill every 6 months for the next couple of years to monitor his little body.  It certainly could be worse.

Tag was kind of drunk and disorderly this afternoon, but he's back to normal now.  Smiling and exploring his world.  Another successful day in the adventures of Charles Taggart Brinton.

Hey Dad, Let's Play!

Tag, you seem to be growing up before our eyes. I'm very lucky to have your Mom (for many reasons) but since she has been through this parenting thing before we aren't your typical first-time parents.  This saves me from worrying about things I don't need to, and frees me up to enjoy you more.  Also, I was 43 when you were born, so I have some years under my over-sized belt to help me enjoy you even more than your typical new Dad because I have been anxiously awaiting your arrival.

Because I work at home doing internet marketing, you often find your way into my "office", which is really our bedroom on the recliner with my laptop.  I see the door swing open and there you are with a big smile walking toward me with either a ball, a comb, a stuffed animal or some other newly-found treasure.  You have the item raised triumphantly in the air as if you just won the Superbowl and are hoisting the trophy proudly for me to see. 

Here you are, playing with your remote.

 Lately, I've been begging Joann to come and get you and take you out of the room because it is frustrating as it distracts me from the work I must do.

But let me be clear, the frustration is not that you are keeping me from my work.  The frustration is that my work is keeping me from playing with you.  Maybe it's because I'm older, but with each new discovery you make and each new sound or talent you display, my desire to become a millionaire loses out to my desire to be able to play with you whenever I please.

You are really growing fast.  We took a few photos of you tonight and they shocked Joann and I how much you are looking like a little boy and not our baby anymore.  Joann often speaks to you and begs you to stay her little baby.  Although you can't yet understand what she is saying, you often give her a playful smile as if to say, "Sorry Mom, I have something special to do."

I believe this is true.  How do I create an environment that will allow you to believe in and become your dreams?  How do I teach you to have dreams?  How do I help you understand your purpose and your personal relationship with God? I can go on and on with the questions going through my head.

All I know for sure is that I am committed to leaving no doubt in your mind that I love you, believe in you, support you, and am proud of you.  This is a gift I want to give you more than anything else. I wrestle each day to provide for our family.  When you walk in the room with that playful look on your face, it motivates me to really work when I'm working, and be utterly productive, so that I can take more quality breaks and not miss these special times with you. What's it going to be like when you can talk, run, jump and throw? How will I ever be able to work?

I hope you will always come to me with that playful look in your eyes.  This is your greatest gift to me.

I love you, son.

New Year brings firsts. by Joann/Mom

Tag has had some big firsts these past few days:
Jan 1st- First sign! He started signing "more" while eating his lunch. He understands a lot of words/signs, but had been content to laugh or grunt in agreement up to now.
Jan 2nd- First nose bleed and first tooth cutting through.  Tag had a sad face-plant onto the tile floor in the morning. It took a while to get our little guy happy and cleaned up. 
Jan 4th- First toilet clogging requiring expert help. Of course it made perfect sense to me that he would think a little plastic frog should be flushed down the toilet- don't frogs like the water? 

First bloody nose.  Hook em' Horns!

As this new year begins I find myself feeling so grateful for this second chance at motherhood. I am loving the quiet, sweetness of the ordinary everyday with this precious boy. He is such a joy and I love watching him discover the world. Finding joy in opening cupboards, looking at books, throwing things in any basket/toilet/garbage, ripping up Kleenex, leaves and paper, throwing and eating dirt out of the local Ficas tree, eating new foods, giving high-5's with a verbal exclamation, clapping, directing us all over with his whole arm and hand outstretched... What a wonder it is to be a baby in discovery mode and how lucky I feel to be around to witness it all. His stages seem to come and go so quickly. I find myself wanting to soak in all that he does and wish I could stretch time. The contrast with my teenage boys reminds me how quickly it all flies by and I just want to s-l-o-w down, breathe deeply, and be in the moment each day.

I also find myself wanting to be more like Tag as I approach things- especially in confronting and conquering challenges and obstacles. He purposely looks to make things harder (not sure I need to do that though). It is so fun to watch him climb on and step over things rather than seeking the path of least resistance.  Now that he can walk one of his favorite pastimes is to hold onto a hand and practice going up and down the stairs. He loves it and will pull us over to the stairs. I can see the delight of learning and growing as he works to accomplish these new feats. I will emulate his example as we gear up for a new round of grueling fasting/testing next week, including an MRI at the hospital, to check in and see if there are any signs of cancer in his little body. 

Sleeping, bandaged, in his tent.

This evening was pretty rough as he had a second go at touching the glass on the fireplace and burned the tips of several fingers. Mitch helped bandage up his hand with gauze and burn free gel to provide a little extra cushion. I resorted to ibuprofen, as he just cried and cried more than he ever had. The opposition principle at work as he experiences the joys and pains of discovery.

Chistmas Time

It's New Year's Eve day and I'm trying to muster up the energy to write a Christmas post.  Tag caught something nasty over the last week and none of us has had a good night's sleep for the last 3 nights.  Last Sunday, Joann took him to visit the nursery at our church and he either caught his sickness there, or at our Spence family Christmas party later that night, as 10 kids under the age of 7 were all staying at the house for 48 hours.  I plan on hitting their parents straight in the face with a snowball if I can find out who the disease-spreading culprit is!

At the Spence Christmas party I was too busy being Tag's wingman to think about asking if anyone's kid was sick, and now I am regretting it.  You would think it sounds fun to be in a house with so many little ones, given the spirit of Christmas and all, but in this case I was extremely frustrated because I spent the entire time protecting Tag, who can barely walk, from being run over by his 9 older boy cousins, who were running like wild animals around the house.  Of course I wanted Tag to be around his cousins and to interact, but if I wasn't close by he was simply a speed bump to the older boys.

This desire for my son's safety found me often the only parent downstairs with all the kids while all the other Spence adults enjoyed themselves upstairs, seemingly oblivious to their own children's activities.  I hope my in-laws are appreciative of the hundreds of dollars of damage I saved them by being the only guard on duty during much of the 2 days!  By the end, I was ready for some peace and quiet.

Tag, playing hide-and-seek with his cousins.

We spent Christmas Eve at my Dad's house in Draper so that he and Babs could enjoy some Tag time.  Joann and I chuckled as it didn't feel much like Christmas over there, since there wasn't an ornament in sight.  Gotta love empty nesters. Grandpa gave Tag some fun gifts and we played some good games of Hearts, a Brinton family favorite.

Joann and I attended several white elephant parties during the season and we had some good laughs.  There were pictures taken, but I haven't seen them yet. Speaking of pictures, there were a few on my camera that were pretty fun.

Tag's older brother, Michael Roberts, who is a 9th grader.

Tag checking out the goods.

Joann teaching Tag the reaction he is supposed to have, even when it's a shirt.

Tag's favorite find.  A bendy straw. Can you blame him?

Teaching Tag the fine art of present opening.

The anticipation of the 2010 Spence gift exchange.

More anticipation...

Great shot of Tag's size compared to his cousins.

Aunt Liz with baby Anson, the newest Spence grandson.

Rare moment of Tag holding the light saber without a cousin ripping it from his grasp.

Teaching the young bucks a thing or two about poker.

Bad Timing

I always hated my birthday being on January 5th, so close to the holidays, but mine is a picnic compared to my sister Darcie's birthday, which falls on December 23rd (today).  She always got presents that were her birthday/Christmas present.  Well, today I want Tag to know how much I love my sister.

Darcie and her three daughters, Adele, Tennie & Ceci

Darcie and I have always been close even though we have never lived close to each other.  She now is the CEO of a home full of three beautiful girls and let me tell you, it is a well run organization!  I jotted down a few reasons I love Darcie on this, her 40th birthday:

1. She's finally joined me in the Over 40 Club.  It's only downhill from here, baby!
2. The amazing way she recovered from all the relentless teasing heaped upon her by her two older brothers in her youth.
3. Her sense of humor.  She always thought I was funny (which may mean she has a terrible sense of humor in reality, but I choose to think otherwise).
4. Her ability to organize and lead.  I've seen this skill grow and improve over time and it's gotten so refined, that anyone standing close better get out of the way!
5. Her character.  She has principles and she strives to live them each day.  It always makes me proud to call her my sister.
6. Her maternal skills.  Her daughters are amazing, creative, loving, and unique.  This is in large part from their mother.  (yeah, yeah, Geoff, too.  But this is Darcie's day!)
7. Her genuine interest in my life and happenings.  Whenever we talk, I just know Darcie is present and listening.  She also gives good, insightful feedback and encouragement.
8. Her ability to roll with the punches.  Life is hard.  It's a test of our resolve and faith in trials.  Darcie approaches these with bravado and a smile.
9. Her faith in God.  There's not a question in anyone's mind who meets Darcie, that she is a daughter of God with a noble kinship to the Almighty.

I love you, Doo!

Happy Birthday Tagman!

Joann and I have been a little melancholy today as we consider the first birthday of Charles Taggart Brinton.  I must admit that a year ago when I first met Tag, after more than 20 hours of difficult labor, and two weeks in the newborn intensive care unit, I wasn't sure if he would live a month, let alone the crazy adventures of this first year.

A part of me only sees the Tag of today and the potential of tomorrow.  He has quickly moved from his first steps only a few weeks ago to taking confident walks of 8 or so steps from chair to chair today on his birthday.  I can already tell this new found mobility is going to require a significant increase in defense from Joann and I!

As I reflect back over the last year, in early posts on this blog, I am filled with gratitude and shock at the events we've been through with this little boy. I mean, how did he survive the birth? How is it that he's the only newborn ever to have a Triton tumor?  (the next youngest ever recorded was 9 years old).. How were we lucky enough to have health insurance to cover the expense? How did I get so lucky to have a son with such a positive attitude and happy demeanor?

I still feel such a sense of gratitude for the professionals at Primary Children's Hospital.  That is an amazing group of people up there.

A lot of parents have big parties for their 1 year old and I always thought this was silly, since the baby has no clue what is even going on.  So, after Joann and I attended a nice church service with Grandma,

Jo and Tag heading to church with Grandma

I took Tag on a walk to find some horse's (Tag's favorite animal) and we hit the jackpot!  Tag got to pet a 13 year old pony. He stuck his fingers up the pony's nose in his typical curious way, and the pony snorted and made Tag jump in my arms.  It was classic.

Then, I convinced Joann to make a cake and allow Tag to dive in with his hands and eat to his heart's content.  Here's a happy little video of a happy little boy on his 1st birthday:

click here ----> Tag's First Birthday

Tag and his older brother, Jordan celebrate #1

 Happy Birthday, little buddy!