Tagman Turns 4

Tag, it's late and I should be in bed, but I can't stop thinking about you on your birthday today.

You are 4, but you keep telling me you want to hurry and be 6 so you can beat your friend Track Arrington since he is already 5.  Today, I hired a photographer to come to the house and take a picture for our Christmas card.  I told her to be there at 5:30 PM, because that is always a time when you and Dooz are happiest.  But you played so hard all day at the Children's Museum and then I took you on some errands and to get you a treat of your choice (you chose a Bomb Pop), and on the ride home you fell asleep in the car just as we arrived home at 5:20.

At 5:30 I had to wake you and you wouldn't stop crying, complaining that your legs hurt.  A growth spurt perhaps?  We had to reschedule the photo shoot.

Then, we tried to take you to dinner and while there, Dooz pooped his pants and had to sit at the restaurant in his new diaper because his pants were a mess.  Typical night as a parent trying to have a normal night out with little ones... You kept pouring parmesan cheese out on the table so you could eat it with your fingers and I let you do this because it was your birthday.

Tag opening Batman socks from Grandma Julie

You got a Big Wheels track that mounts to the wall in your room and you LOVE to play with cars and pretend you are racing. Joann gave you a book and when you opened it, you said, "That's not fun." and went for another present.  That was funny.

Enough play by play.  What I really want to tell you is how much I miss my 1 year old, 2 year old and 3 year old Tag.  Last night after I finished telling you a bedtime story, I hugged you and told you how I'm going to miss my 3 year old Tag.  You thought for a minute and said, "Dad, it's okay. You have to like my 4 because I have to get big."

In our prayers tonight, Joann and I cried as we thanked God for you and what a blessing you are in our lives.  We looked in each others eyes and marveled at how you turned out after that scary night 4 years ago while we sat in the NICU at Primary Children's Hospital with a little boy that we were told had a "birth defect".

Tag's cranial CAT Scan on Dec. 5, 2009

I think about those first few weeks and my mind is clear about how scared I was and how we just hoped you would live to get to know us.  Little did we know during those first days and weeks just how special of a boy we had in our possession.

On the other hand, I look at photos of you at 2 and I can barely remember you.  Those memories have been replaced with a live version named Pack (aka Dooz).  Perhaps this is why I can't get enough of Dooz right now.  He helps me deal with the loss I feel of you leaving that wonderful age.

But, there's no mistaking it son.  You are VERY special to me. After I left your room last night, I heard you whimpering in your room so I returned to see what was the matter.  After asking you, you said, softly, "Daddy, I just wanted to give you a kiss."  So I let you kiss me on the cheek and we lay in bed together for a while longer, as we said goodbye to my 3 year old.

Thank you for that moment.  I love you.

Best 2 Years of My Life

Dooz, you are turning two years old tomorrow and I just can't sleep until I tell you how getting to know you (while continuing to enjoy Tag) has been the best two years of my life.

I'm 47 now.  Older than a typical LDS Dad.  In fact, two of my best friends from high school are already grandparents, as is my own wife!  The downside to this is how tired I am all the time, unless I sneak into my casita and fall asleep on the couch, leaving Joann to fend for herself.

But the upsides to being your father at 47 are so grand, I scarcely know where to begin. Working from home while you and Tag have been born has been the greatest blessing I could ever imagine.  Just today, for example, I was in the Casita trying to drum up some new business and got interrupted by Ironman (Tag), two Batmans, and just the Dooz smiling and wanting to watch Mickey Mouse and the Giant for the 100th time.  These interruptions are at times frustrating when I'm on the phone with a client, but most of the time are so special, that I find myself getting upset at myself when I get upset at the interruptions.  Please keep visiting me, son. Really, this is all I really need in my life.

You and Tag visiting my office

Important business meeting

Play tennis, Dad!

Of course it would be nice to have nicer things, but at my age, enjoying you at your age is more important to me... Having time to play with you and laugh at literally your every move. A few of my favorite things you do right now are:

1) Argue.  At least once per day I try and create a situation where I say to you that I can, and you respond, "NO!  You Dan't!"  The way you furrow your brow and say, "You Dan't" is so classic that I laugh just thinking about it.

2) You run to the front door and tell me to, "Say it, Daddy!" -- and I say,  "Blue 42 .... Seeeeet .... HUT!" -- While I say it, you get down in a 4-point stance (kind of) and on HUT you run as fast as you can to the couch, slamming into it to stop and laugh, return and repeat until I stop.  I should count how many times you would do this before stopping.  Currently, you always outlast me.

3) Every day the last while you want to "Hit Dennis" -- which means you grab the mini tennis racquet given to you by your friend Rory Wright and you have me toss balls to you and you try and hit them.

4) As bedtime nears, I often find you hugging my leg and giving me 'loves', just being near me.  I love this.

5) You always want to watch videos and look at pictures on my iPhone.  The same ones over and over again.  Your favorite is watching yourself knock on our door and say "Trick-or-treat" in the dress rehearsal for the big night.  You and Tag were Dracula and this video is so classic.  I pray I will save it so you can watch it later in life.

6) You and Tag love to watch cartoons.  Your favorites are Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, Vintage Bugs Bunny, and Iron Giant.  You especially like the Tweety Bird ones.  Whenever we watch you either cuddle up to me and put my arm around you, or you sit right on my stomach.  Joann must think I'm nuts watching all these again and again, but I'm just savoring your little body close to mine.

Spreading out

7) Everything Tag does, you copy him in your own way.  Tag notices this.  Sometimes he does things he knows you can't do, to assert his dominance, but mostly (for now) he is a good big brother and helps you and wants you to participate. You are just getting big enough for Tag to play with you more and I see some good times for you two ahead.  I also see many fights and I have to work on my patience, given that I'm mostly motivated by quiet (another downside to being single all those years and being older now)...

8) You are learning more words every day and the way you communicate is so funny.  You can't say your S's, so Superman to you is "Pooperman" and Spiderman is "Piderman".  Whenever Grandma comes to visit, she's amazed at how I understand what you say, but that's because I love your language so much I want to learn it!

9) You seem tough for your age.  You get over falls quickly and want to get right back in the action.  I wonder if this will make you more like your Uncle Nate, who loved football more than me.

10) You love to kick balls at me, swing golf clubs, hit baseballs, throw balls, etc.  You are all boy and I visualize the great athlete you will be.  Like Tag, you seem to have a natural athletic ability, and because those are the things Tag likes to do, you copy him and want to be like him.

Visiting my office, trying to get me to play "basketball hoop"

Swinging high on Matt Coombs' tire swing in Carmel, CA

11) You love to put on a football helmet and run at me and tackle me.  It's so fun right now because you are still so small that you can't hurt me going full speed.  You aren't as much interested in pillow fights as Tag was but you do like to hide under the blanket with me while Tag tries to find us.

12) Today, for the first time, you hugged my leg while I was eating dinner and said, "I love you Daddy."  I about started to cry as I love you so much back.

13)  The lucky people who know you always say, "Dang, that kid is cute."  -- Joann and I say daily how we wish we could freeze you right now.  I hope you get to experience a child of your own someday.  If so, remember that 18 months to 2 1/2 is as good as it gets.  You are right in the middle of prime time and I'll be damned if making a buck is going to get in the way of really soaking you in over the next 6 months!

Ready for Church

Chillin'

Happy Dooz

Clint Doozwood

After pooping his pants in nursery at church, this was all that was left of his outfit.

14) I like how if we are playing and I fake cry, you stop what you are doing and say, "Don't cwy!"  Then you give me a hug.  You have a tenderness about you that is really cool.

15) You have a GREAT laugh and you do it often.  You are a very happy child.  I have some great videos of you laughing that I will treasure.

16) You love to have me or Joann read stories to you at night.  If we weren't overdosed on iPads, TV and iPhones, you'd probably like that even more.

17) Your first Halloween experience just two weeks ago was so fun for me to watch.  Grandma Brinton also followed you around as you walked from house to house at your own pace, enjoying all the sights and sounds.  Oh how I wish you could watch yourself years from now at how cute and funny you were.  Given that I'm a Halloween nut, it was like sweet nectar to be with you and Tag on All Hallow's Eve.

Brintons, undead

Cemetery Home.

Out walking with Dooz on Halloween.

Packula

One of several trips to the Halloween store. Pack scares Tag.

I could go on and on. I have a new appreciation for how God the Father loves me, knows me, and wants to help me now that I am a father to you and Tag. My soul is enlarged and fed each day by just knowing you.  I can't understand why I am blessed to have such a special son during this time of my life. Oh, how I wish Grandpa could have known you better and visa versa.  He would have been addicted to you just like I am.

Happy Birthday, little Dooz.

Here's a few more of my favorite photos over the last year...

Pacific Beach, CA

Pine Valley, UT

First putting green, Gladstan Golf Course, Eagle Ridge, UT

Office visit, showing me his tie.

Dooz, bad ass.

"Ice keem!"

Carmel, CA

Go Broncos!

The Dooz: Moving Fast

I really want to get on and make more journal entries, but by the time I attempt to handle the craziness that is being a parent of two little boys, I'm too tired to turn on my computer, let alone be purposeful in writing about it all.

On December 10th, Joann and I had to move out of the Horrock's home in Woodland Hills, as they returned home from their mission. Since all our belongings were in storage anyway, we decided to have an adventure and drive 26 hours to South Padre Island, Texas for the winter.  More on S. Padre on another post.

The drive wasn't as much torture as I predicted, but mostly because we weren't so anal about keeping the boys in the straight-jacket-like car seats required by American society these days. We are more than halfway through the stay and are only here another 3 weeks.  The time has flown by, but it's been so enjoyable to see photos and hear the complaints of our Utah friends who are stuck home dealing with all the snow.  So much so, that we have decided to leave the snow and move to St. George when we return.  Anyway, that's another story for another time.  Tonight, I want to highlight some of the goings on with our sons.

Tag and Pack are so much fun, that I don't really know how to communicate how lucky I feel to be able to travel with them to such a fun winter place.  Not only that, but to have work that offers me as much freedom as I have to play with them during this small window in time when they are learning and changing so quickly. I waited and toiled for so long to be a DAD, that I feel heaven has given me a unique chance to soak it all in.

My favorite people

Pack, aka Doozie, (14 months old) has discovered walking and I haven't seen him return to crawling for about 10 days now. Watching him attempt to chase Tag, walk in the sand, spin in circles, pick up a ball and return to standing, etc. is poetry in motion. He is a confident, daring, and stubborn child who knows what he wants and screams so loud when he wants it.  He loves balls of any size, just like Tag did, only I'm noticing that he may be a left-hander like me and his grandpa!  Grandpa would be so proud.

Being an older parent, I find I relish peace and quiet quickly, so unfortunately Pack's screams often get him what wants.  Yeah, yeah, I know this only encourages more of the bad behavior, but give me a break, I'm tired.  This loudness also makes him virtually impossible to bring to a restaurant, but we still love to go out and eat while on the island.

Pack often will be sitting on the counter in the kitchen with Joann and I'll hear, "Dada!" -- I'll look in his direction to find him smiling at me and trying to get my attention.  I'll look at him and we'll both smile and I'll look away and the game continues.  He is tiny and light (compared to Tag), making him so fun to engage in pillow fights on the bed.  He loves to climb on my back and have me play horsey and throw him off into the pillows.  He points at things he wants or places he wants me to take him, and gives a loud grunt -- "UUH!"  If I don't immediately comply, he gets louder.

Just yesterday, he learned how to say "Mom" and he is quick to say it when Joann is not around.  Oh, how he loves his Mom. Everywhere we go, people move in close to look at his baby blue eyes and try to be rewarded with his smile, which he doesn't give out to any Tom, Dick or Harry.  He's a very handsome child.  Often times, he will see Tag give "bones" to a stranger, which is the act of bumping fists.  Then he'll reach out his fist to the person and when the fist approaches, he withdraws his offering leaving the other person hanging.  I love this move.

Pack loves his older brother.  You can really tell.  He copies him, follows him, imitates him, and aspires to do what Tag does all day long.  The biggest fights we see are when Dooz sees Tag with a drink or a ball and he wants it for himself... NOW.  Or all hell breaks loose.  I've initiated a rule that Joann is not to give one of the boys a drink unless the other is offered the exact same drink in his own container.

Pack is much more daring than Tag was (and even is).  He'll go down a steep slide headfirst and grunt for more the minute he hits the bottom, even if he got banged up a bit on the way down.  I love this about him.

He loves to eat fruit and guacamole, and most other things, and when he doesn't want something, he has a funny, violent NO head shake that leaves no question as to what he doesn't want.